Extraordinary Influence: How Great Leaders Bring Out the Best in Others

Praise for Extraordinary Influence

"Leadership is a people game and in Extraordinary Influence, Tim Irwin outlines a powerful approach to motivating others. Importantly, if each of us practiced his recommendations, it would transform the cultures of our families, businesses, and world, through a new civility and an environment where more people can flourish."
Stephen Quinn, Executive Vice President and Chief Marketing Officer (2005 2016), Walmart Stores, Chairman, Alliance for Family Entertainment/SeeHer (Current)

"Tim Irwin′s deep, thoughtful book shows us the key to sustaining peak performance in organizations by motivating people to extraordinary performance through affirmation, inspiration, and positive influence you can be for others."
Bill George, Senior Fellow at Harvard Business School, former Chair and CEO of Medtronic and author of Discover Your True North

"I really love this book the stories are engaging the advice is very concrete and actionable. It reads fast with high impact. Nicely done!"
Cheryl A. Bachelder, Former CEO, Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen, Inc., author of Dare to Serve: How to drive superior results by serving others

"As a driven, type–A kind of guy, I far too seldom slow down and affirm truly affirm my team and people. Tim′s cogent reminders and approaches are great ways to help me and you get the best from your people and organization."
Pat Gelsinger, CEO, VMware

"What organizational leader, teacher, coach, and parent doesn′t want to unleash the extraordinary potential of the employees, students, players and children under their influence? Tim Irwin brilliantly unpacks this question with facts and fun that will transform those we love and serve."
Tommy Spaulding, New York Times bestselling author of The Heart–Led Leader and It′s Not Just Who You Know

"Tim Irwin′s new book explains why so many of our interactions in the corporate world (not to mention in our personal relationships) do not accomplish what we intend. I was reminded that intentions are not visible and Tim′s remedy for all of us is relatively simple, but it will take intentionality. His concept of ′Alliance Feedback′ could provide a huge breakthrough for our corporate cultures. Tim makes bringing out the best in others a clear mandate and makes it simply and accessible with very clear guidelines on how we do this. I would move this book to the top of your stack!"
Mark Nelson, Corporate Vice President, Midstream, Strategy, and Policy, Chevron Corporation

"We all have people in our lives often people for whom we are responsible who have a great need for change. But how do we help them see it and even more to effectively make those changes? Tim Irwin′s new book will drastically change your understanding of how to help people change! His concept of ′Alliance Feedback′ will not only alter the way you do performance reviews, but it will change family and friend relationships. Get the book and use it."
Tim Keller, Pastor Emeritus, Redeemer Presbyterian Church of New York City

Foreword xi

Part I THE SCIENCE OF EXTRAORDINARY INFLUENCE

1 The Blue Suitcase Phenomenon 3

Many Leaders Create an Effect They Did Not Intend

2 Words of Life 15

New Brain Research Explains How We Bring Out the Best in Others

Part II HOW EXTRAORDINARY INFLUENCE WORKS

3 Tactical Affirmation 33

Affirming Style and Competence

4 Strategic Influence 51

How to Give Words of Life

5 Words of Death 67

Constructive Criticism Fails Because Our Brains Are Hard Wired for Something Better

6 Alliance Feedback 81

What Seasoned CEOs Know about Helping Others Change

7 Extraordinary Influence for Underperformers 95

Bringing Out the Best in Someone Who Has Lost His Way

Part III SPECIAL APPLICATIONS OF EXTRAORDINARY INFLUENCE

8 Extraordinary Influence for Teams 113

Three Levers for High Performance

9 Motivating High Potentials 129

The Four Transformations to Extraordinarily Influence the Best

10 Performance Appraisals that Lead to Extraordinary Influence 145

How One Famous CompanyThrew Out Its

Traditional Performance Appraisal System and the New Process That s Reaping Big Gains

11 Special Counsel to Parents, Teachers, and Coaches 161

Extraordinary Influence for Those Entrusted to Our Care

12 What Would Happen If We Put This into Practice? 177

A Call to Action

Acknowledgments 181

About the Author 183

Index 185

DR. TIM IRWIN (www.drtimirwin.com) is a New York Times bestselling author, speaker, and consultant to a host of top organizations throughout the U.S. and more than twenty–five countries in North America, South America, and the Far East. His clients include many of the world′s most recognized and highly regarded brands. In addition, Dr. Irwin regularly appears on national media outlets and his ideas are often showcased in leading business publications.