Race Talk and the Conspiracy of Silence: Understanding and Facilitating Difficult Dialogues on Race

Turn Uncomfortable Conversations into Meaningful Dialogue

If you believe that talking about race is impolite, or that "colorblindness" is the preferred approach, you must read this book. Race Talk and the Conspiracy of Silence debunks the most pervasive myths using evidence, easy–to–understand examples, and practical tools.

This significant work answers all your questions about discussing race by covering:

Characteristics of typical, unproductive conversations on race Tacit and explicit social rules related to talking about racial issues Race–specific difficulties and misconceptions regarding race talk Concrete advice for educators and parents on approaching race in a new way

"His insistence on the need to press through resistance to have difficult conversations about race is a helpful corrective for a society that prefers to remain silent about these issues."
Christopher Wells, Vice President for Student Life at DePauw University

"In a Canadian context, the work of Dr. Derald Wing Sue in Race Talk: and the Conspiracy of Silence is the type of material needed to engage a populace that is often described as ′Too Polite.′ The accessible material lets individuals engage in difficult conversations about race and racism in ways that make the uncomfortable topics less threatening, resulting in a true ′dialogue′ rather than a debate."
Darrell Bowden, M Ed. Education and Awareness Coordinator, Ryerson University

"He offers those of us who work in the Diversity and Inclusion space practical tools for generating productive dialogues that transcend the limiting constraints of assumptions about race and identity."
Rania Sanford, Ed.D. Associate Chancellor for Strategic Affairs and Diversity, Stanford University

"Sue′s book is a must–read for any parent, teacher, professor, practioner, trainer, and facilitator who seeks to learn, understand, and advance difficult dialogues about issues of race in classrooms, workplaces, and boardrooms. It is a book of empowerment for activists, allies, or advocates who want to be instruments of change and to help move America from silence and inaction to discussion, engagement, and action on issues of difference and diversity. Integrating real life examples of difficult dialogues that incorporate the range of human emotions, Sue provides a masterful illustration of the complexities of dialogues about race in America. More importantly, he provides a toolkit for those who seek to undertake the courageous journey of understanding and facilitating difficult conversations about race."
Menah Pratt–Clarke, JD, PhD, Associate Provost for Diversity, University of Illinois Urbana–Champaign

Preface ix

Preface to the Paperback Edition xv

Acknowledgments xix

About the Author xxi

SECTION ONE: THE CHARACTERISTICS, DYNAMICS, AND MEANING OF RACE TALK

CHAPTER ONE What Is Race Talk? 3

Race Talk Represents a Potential Clash of Racial Realities 7

Race Talk Pushes Emotional Hot Buttons 11

Race Talk Evokes Avoidance Strategies 13

Why Is Successful Race Talk Important? 16

CHAPTER TWO The Characteristics and Dynamics of Race Talk 18

What Are Characteristics of Race Talk? 21

How Do Societal Ground Rules (Norms) Impede Race Talk? 23

Why Is Race Talk So Difficult and Uncomfortable for Participants? 27

Conclusions 33

CHAPTER THREE The Stories We Tell: White Talk Versus Back Talk 35

Race Talk: Narratives and Counter–Narratives 37

Telling on Racism: Unmasking Ugly Secrets 38

SECTION TWO: THE CONSTRAINING GROUND RULES FOR RACE TALK

CHAPTER FOUR The Entire World s a Stage! 55

The Politeness Protocol and Race Talk 57

The Academic Protocol and Race Talk 64

CHAPTER FIVE Color–Blind Means Color–Mute 74

Color–Evasion: We Are All the Same Under the Skin 78

Stereotype–Evasion: I Don t Believe in Those Stereotypes 82

Power–Evasion: Everyone Can Make It in Society, If TheyWork

Hard Enough 86

Myth of the Melting Pot 89

SECTION THREE: WHY IS IT DIFFICULT FOR PEOPLE OF COLOR TO HONESTLY TALK ABOUT RACE?

CHAPTER SIX What Are the Consequences for Saying What I Mean? 95

Ethnocentric Monoculturalism 99

Power and Oppression 105

CHAPTER SEVEN To Speak or How to Speak, That Is the Question 112

Communication Styles 115

Nonverbal Communication 118

Nonverbal Communication in Race Talk: Sociopolitical

Considerations 121

Being Constrained and Silenced: Impact on People of Color 123

Conclusions 127

SECTION FOUR: WHY IS IT DIFFICULT FOR WHITE PEOPLE TO HONESTLY TALK ABOUT RACE?

CHAPTER EIGHT I m Not Racist! 131

Cognitive Avoidance Racism Denial 133

Emotional Avoidance Fear, Guilt, and Other Feelings 138

Behavioral Avoidance Helplessness and Hopelessness 142

Emotional Roadblocks to Race Talk 144

CHAPTER NINE I m Not White; I m Italian! 147

What Does It Mean to Be White? 148

The Invisibility of Whiteness: What Does It Mean? 152

The Fear of Owning White Privilege 154

Fear of Taking Personal Responsibility to End Racism: Moving From Being Nonracist to Becoming Antiracist 159

SECTION FIVE: RACE TALK AND SPECIAL GROUP CONSIDERATIONS

CHAPTER TEN Interracial/Interethnic Race Talk: Difficult Dialogues Between Groups of Color 167

Interracial/Interethnic Relationship Issues 169

Race Talk: Fears of Divide and Conquer 171

Sources of Conflict Between People of Color 174

CHAPTER ELEVEN Race Talk and White Racial Identity Development: For Whites Only 186

Developing a Nonracist and Antiracist Racial Identity 189

White Racial Identity Development and Race Talk 202

SECTION SIX: GUIDELINES, CONDITIONS, AND SOLUTIONS FOR HAVING HONEST RACIAL DIALOGUES

CHAPTER TWELVE Being an Agent of Change: Guidelines for Educators, Parents, and Trainers 209

Talking to Children About Race and Racism 213

Guidelines for Taking Personal Responsibility for Change 214

CHAPTER THIRTEEN Helping People Talk About Race: Facilitation Skills for Educators and Trainers 226

Ineffective Strategies: Five Things Not to Do 230

Successful Strategies: Eleven Potentially Positive Actions 234

References 245

Author Index 260

Subject Index 266