Engagement: Transforming Difficult Relationships at Work

The essential resource for mastering the interpersonal side of management

Engagement is the must–have guide for transforming difficult relationships. Bestselling authors Lee G. Bolman and Joan V. Gallos teach readers how to tackle tough people problems with ease and confidence through the use of four rules of engagement. The book features a compelling business story about a talented manager in a new job as she learns to cope with an oppressive boss and underperforming team. Periodic interludes highlight key lessons and underscore ways to strengthen diagnostic lenses and relationship skills. The book closes with a "try this" tutorial section that digs deeply into foundational practices and habits of the mind to help readers expand their professional skills and strengths. Engagement is for anyone in search of new ways to handle a problem employee, irritating boss, complaining colleague, or treacherous teammate.

"If you′ve ever felt hobbled by a difficult relationship at work, read this book! The authors′ four–step process is remarkably easy to use anyone can do it and their many examples and clear scripts take the anxiety out of the process. It almost makes me eager for the next high–maintenance person to enter my life!"
DOUGLAS T. HALL, PhD, Morton H. and Charlotte Friedman Professor of Management and Director, Executive Development Roundtable, Questrom School of Business, Boston University

"Toxic people quickly create environments of intimidation and hostility that sap motivation and leave us feeling helpless. Engagement is the perfect antidote: insightful strategies for engaging with difficult colleagues in ways that build confidence and transform relationships. A must–read guide for maximizing interpersonal productivity in the workplace and beyond!"
SANDRA KRUSE–SMITH, PhD, Executive Coach and Owner, Synergy Career and Professional Development

"The principles of human development and interpersonal relationships on which Engagement is based are sound. As a user of its four rules, I can tell you they work: empowering, effective, and a way to face challenging people with new confidence and elan."
JANINE BEMPECHAT, EdD, Professor of Psychology and Human Development and Director, Center for Scholarship and Research, Wheelock College

PREFACE xiii

INTRODUCTION xvii

SURE Rules of Engagement xx

How to Use This Book xxv

PART I REALITY 1

CHAPTER 1 The Choice 3

CHAPTER 2 The Boss 5

CHAPTER 3 A Single Step 7

INTERLUDE 1 Coping with Bullies 8

PART II BEGINNINGS ARE EVERYTHING 15

CHAPTER 4 The Motley Crew 17

CHAPTER 5 SOS 20

CHAPTER 6 The Ally 23

INTERLUDE 2 Managing the Boss 25

PART III COMPLEX CHARACTERS 33

CHAPTER 7 Madison 35

CHAPTER 8 Data 39

CHAPTER 9 Underperforming 41

CHAPTER 10 The Check–in 44

INTERLUDE 3 Learning with Tenacity 49

PART IV THE PLOT THICKENS 55

CHAPTER 11 Clarity 57

CHAPTER 12 Checking It Twice 59

CHAPTER 13 Production 62

INTERLUDE 4 Leading with Purpose 65

PART V FIX OR FOLD 71

CHAPTER 14 Sales 73

CHAPTER 15 A Warning from Michael 77

CHAPTER 16 Hate Your Boss? 79

CHAPTER 17 In Sheep s Clothing 82

CHAPTER 18 Fire Your Star? 86

CHAPTER 19 Back to the Boss 90

INTERLUDE 5 Move On? Push Out? 92

PART VI TEAM WORK 99

CHAPTER 20 The Game Plan 101

INTERLUDE 6 A SURE Tour de Force 106

PART VII A HAPPY ENDING? 111

CHAPTER 21 The New Boss 113

EPILOGUE THE SURE ROUTE TO SUCCESS: ENGAGEMENT 117

The SURE Principles: Remember the Basics 120

Conclusion 125

THE SKILLS OF ENGAGEMENT TUTORIAL 126

Stop, Look, and Learn 128

Unhook 136

Revise the Script 146

Engage Evolve or Exit 150

NOTES 155

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS 166

ABOUT THE AUTHORS 169

INDEX 173

LEE G. BOLMAN holds the Marion Bloch Missouri Chair in Leadership at the Henry W. Bloch School of Management at the University of Missouri Kansas City. He is the coauthor of How Great Leaders Think; Reframing Organizations; The Wizard and the Warrior; and Leading with Soul, all from Jossey–Bass.

JOAN V. GALLOS is professor of leadership at Wheelock College, where she also served as Vice President for Academic Affairs. Gallos is coauthor of Teaching Diversity: Listening to the Soul, Speaking from the Heart; editor of both Organization Development: A Jossey–Bass Reader and Business Leadership: A Jossey–Bass Reader (second edition); and creator of the teaching materials for the full Jossey–Bass Reader Series.

BOLMAN and GALLOS are the co–authors of Reframing Academic Leadership, also published by Jossey–Bass.