Exercising Influence: A Guide for Making Things Happen at Work, at Home, and in Your Community

UNLOCK THE POWER OF EFFECTIVE INFLUENCE TO CHANGE MINDS, GUIDE OPINIONS, AND MOVE YOUR IDEAS INTO ACTION

Exercising Influence is your hands–on guide for learning the skills and techniques that will help you get more accomplished with much less effort. B. Kim Barnes demystifies the process of influencing others and shows how to develop effective influence behaviors, establish goals and objectives, plan approaches, resolve problems, and build better relationships. This Third Edition of the bestselling book is thoroughly revised and expanded and includes more actionable advice across industries and sectors. It also contains all–new chapters on influencing through social media, influencing your team, and understanding how influence works through neuroscience and behavioral economics. By applying Exercising Influence′s real–world model, you will create work, family, and community relationships that are more satisfying and mutually rewarding.

This time–tested influence fitness program can be implemented alone or with others for developing more sophisticated and powerful communication skills. Exercising Influence reveals how to put into action the skills and understanding required to be an effective influencer and is filled with practical advice on preparing for, acting on, and reviewing an actual influence opportunity. Barnes also explores important issues that arise in the process of exercising your influence, as well as detailing special applications of influence skills.

This vital resource is written for anyone who wants to achieve better outcomes at work, at home, or in the world at large, and offers a framework for making positive things happen and creating relationships that matter. Get ready to take charge of your life in a powerful, ethical, and productive way.

About This Book xi

Acknowledgments xiii

PART I Exercising Influence 1

CHAPTER 1 What We ve Got Here Is a Failure to Influence: Dealing with Life 101 3

CHAPTER 2 What Is Influence, and Why Do We Want to Have It? The Upside and the Downside 7

CHAPTER 3 A Model for Exercising Influence: Building Relationships and Getting Results 17

CHAPTER 4 Expressive Influence: Sending Ideas and Generating Energy 25

CHAPTER 5 Receptive Influence: Inviting Ideas and Stimulating Action 33

CHAPTER 6 Influencing in Action: A World of Possibilities 43

PART II Planning for Influence 47

CHAPTER 7 Developing an Influence Plan: Design Thinking for Influence Opportunities 49

CHAPTER 8 Establishing Influence Objectives: What Will Success Look Like? 53

CHAPTER 9 Focus on the Relationship: Influence Works Both Ways 59

CHAPTER 10 Focus on the Context: The Individual 63

CHAPTER 11 Focus on the Context: System, Organization, Culture, and Timing 69

CHAPTER 12 Focus on the Context: Yourself 73

CHAPTER 13 Focus on the Issues: What s at Stake? 77

CHAPTER 14 Choosing and Using Influence Behaviors to Achieve Your Objective: How to Create Your Approach 81

CHAPTER 15 Putting Your Plan to Work: Treating the Unexpected as an Opportunity 87

PART III Special Issues in Influence 93

CHAPTER 16 The Ethics of Influence: Doing Well by Doing Good 95

CHAPTER 17 Influencing Electronically: The Wonders and Terrors of Instant Communication 99

CHAPTER 18 Influencing through Social Media: Expanding Your Sphere of Influence 107

CHAPTER 19 Applied Influence: Making Things Happen 111

CHAPTER 20 Influencing Indirectly: Influencing beyond Your Boundaries 117

CHAPTER 21 Influencing Your Team: From One to Many 121

CHAPTER 22 Your Brain on Influence: What Neuroscience and Behavioral Economics Can Teach Us 125

Afterword: The Paradox of Failure 135

APPENDIX A Coaching Partnerships 137

APPENDIX B Influence Plan 141

APPENDIX C Meeting Processes That Support Effective Influencing 145

APPENDIX D Sentence Starters 149

APPENDIX E Influence Scenarios 151

APPENDIX F Self–Assessment 161

Resources 163

Barnes & Conti Associates, Inc. 167

Index 169

B. Kim Barnes is the CEO of Barnes & Conti Associates, an independent learning and organization development firm. She has had over 30 years of experience in the fields of management, leadership, and organization development.