The Power of Nice: How to Negotiate So Everyone Wins – Especially You!

Praise for THE POWER OF Nice

"This book is the bible for negotiating deals in any businessfield. It is written proof of how Ron Shapiro reshaped the industrywith his approach and then parlayed it into decades oforchestrating powerful deals. Being a good person who respectsothers is the ultimate trump card if you want to be successful innegotiations, and no one captures how to do that better thanRon."
Kevin Plank, Founder and CEO, Under Armour

"I was amazed to find myself so immersed in a professional salesbook. The book is an easy and enjoyable read. The Power ofNice provided insights that have enriched both my personal andprofessional lives...I find myself mentally referencing it eachday. Life is a negotiation, and The Power of Nice has taughtme to look for the win–win in every situation.
Cheri Phyfer, President & General Manager,Diversified Brands, The Sherwin–Williams Company

"Ron details new ideas that add to his systematic, values basedapproach to negotiating and relationship building. In an age wherethe world is changing at amazing speeds, it′s empowering to seethat the principles Ron has shared with us to enhance ouropportunities for success are timeless."
R.C. Buford, President, San Antonio Spurs

"Ron Shapiro has updated his successful book of valuable lessonsdrawn from business, sports and community affairs into an excellentbook of game plans for life."
Larry S. Gibson, author of Young Thurgood,Professor of Law, University of Maryland School of Law

"Ron′s thought process, approach and genuine desire to establishlasting relationships is worthy of consideration for anyone whonegotiates at any level."
Laurie Orlando, Senior Vice President, TalentDevelopment & Planning, ESPN

Foreword to the Revised Edition by Ambassador CharleneBarshefsky xi

Foreword to the First Edition by Cal Ripken, Jr. xiv

Acknowledgments xvi

Introduction: Why Change What Works? 2

1 Negotiation 5

I ll Burn That Bridge When I Come to It 5

Your First Deal 7

What Negotiation Isn t 11

Filling the Negotiator s Toolbox 18

What Negotiation Is 19

What Negotiation Can Be 23

Refresher 26

2 I Win You Lose Negotiation An Exercise inFlawed Logic 29

Enemies and Entrenched Positions 29

Hit and Run 32

I m Not One of Them, Am I? 35

At Least One Dissatisfied Party 43

Refresher 45

3 WIN win Negotiation 47

Myth and Reality 47

Achieving WIN win 49

Good Deals Echo, They Lead to More Deals 51

WIN win Is Not Wimp Wimp 52

Roadblocks, Minefields, and Wisdom 55

Putting It Together 57

Refresher 64

4 The Three Ps A Systematic Approach 67

Prepare, Probe, and Propose 70

Refresher 79

5 Prepare or Else 81

Preparation: The Aerobics of Negotiation 81

How Prepared Are You for Your Negotiations? 82

The Numbers and Letters Game 83

The Numbers and Letters Game Continued 84

How to Prepare (and How Not To) 87

The Preparation Checklist 89

A Case Study: The Sur–Real Sales Challenge 97

Confidence Is the Secret Weapon (But the Real Secret Is ThatPreparation Is the Key to Confidence) 104

Sources of Information 105

Refresher 110

6 Probe, Probe, Probe 113

The Other Side Is Trying to Tell You How to Make the Deal113

W.H.A.T.? The Probing Technique 120

The Don ts How Not to Probe 126

Listening 128

The Zoologist 133

Learning to Listen 135

Refresher 138

7 Propose But Not Too Fast Getting the Other Sideto Go First 141

Role Playing 141

Proposing for Real 146

The Three Rules Behind Propose 149

Making Counterproposals 153

Refresher 158

8 Difficult Negotiators 161

And the Award for Most Difficult Negotiator Goes to 162

Dealing with the Difficult Negotiator (without Becoming One)166

Emotional Tactics Nonemotional Responses 170

Challenging Personalities 173

Refresher 177

9 Negotiating from Weakness 179

Perceived Weakness versus Real Weakness 179

Expand the Goals 181

Locate Allies 182

Never Let Them See You Sweat 185

Brainstorming 187

Refresher 192

10 Unlocking Deadlocks 195

If Nothing Works, Change Something 195

Find Reasons to Agree 200

Get Creative 200

Objective Mechanisms 205

Sometimes No Deal Is the Best Deal 209

If Deal Fever Persists, Keep Saying No 209

Refresher 216

11 Building Relationships 219

Today versus Tomorrow: How Long Is the Long Run? 219

A Relationship Tool: Bonding 221

The Meet–and–Bond Style 222

Rebonding 225

No Faux Bonding 227

Practice Makes Bonding 228

The Value of Relationships 231

Refresher 234

12 Putting It All Together 237

The Major League Baseball Owners versus the Major League Umpires(and the Major League Umpires versus Themselves) 237

Refresher 244

Epilogue: Nelson Mandela When the Power of Nice Changed aNation 247

Reinforcement Tools Link 251

Post–Negotiation Assessment Questionnaire 253

Negotiator s Toolbox 255

Index 257

RONALD M. SHAPIRO is founder of the Shapiro NegotiationsInstitute, a negotiations seminar and consulting firm which offerstraining programs and deal coaching worldwide. He has had a richand varied career as a civil rights and corporate lawyer, stateSecurities Commissioner, sports agent, entrepreneur, communityleader, and business executive. He advises an array of corporateand political leaders and team executives, has represented Hall ofFame players, helped settle a major symphony orchestra strike,diffused racial tension in a metropolitan police department, raisedmillions of dollars for charitable causes, and assisted in endingMajor League Baseball′s historic labor deadlock. In addition, he isa New York Times bestselling author and his books includeBullies, Tyrants, and Impossible People; Dare to Prepare;and Perfecting Your Pitch.

JAMES DALE is an author/marketing consultant whose workincludes books, articles, radio, television, sports, technology,public relations and advertising.

SHAPIRO NEGOTIATIONS INSTITUTE is a premier globalprovider of sales, negotiation, and influence training andconsulting. Its success is built on helping professionals at alllevels use a systematic approach to accomplish more, faster, andwith a higher degree of effectiveness. By taking more than 50 yearsof lessons learned in real–life situations, the Institute′s teamdigs into specific industry and client challenges, so its tools andtechniques can be implemented immediately with precision.