Negotiating Success: Tips and Tools for Building Rapport and Dissolving Conflict While Still Getting What You Want

Praise for Negotiating Success " Negotiating Success is an inspiring book that skillfully integrates the hard and soft skills needed to ensure win-win outcomes in negotiations. The reader will raise his/her emotional intelligence, learn new concepts based on the latest brain research, understand the principles of ethical influence, and gain the skills and steps necessary for intelligent negotiations. Hard skills with soft edges—that's the winning formula!" —Lance H. K. Secretan, PhD, bestselling author of The Spark, the Flame, and the Torch "In a world rife with conflict, it is refreshing to find a book intent on dissolving it. Negotiate in a way that allows both sides to win? That's exactly when magic happens, believes Jim Hornickel, who reveals the benefits of mutuality-based negotiations. In this must-read book, Hornickel offers step-by-step instructions on how to infuse the negotiations process with win-win attitudes and actions. He provides questions to ponder, specific examples, and skill-building exercises." —Lorri Freifeld, Editor-in-Chief, Training magazine "Who knew that the elements of smart and effective negotiating could be so fascinating? Jim Hornickel opens a window into a process that we engage in many times every day, both formally and informally. Through the use of real life scenarios, he offers many useful insights into ways to make our daily transactions more fruitful for all concerned." —Barry Bouthilette, author, Feel the Zest: 89 Ways to Be Fully Energized "Jim Hornickel's book is a groundbreaking, fascinating read. Hornickel takes head on the many challenges of negotiating and created a comprehensive pathway to making them a success. Drawing from his own experience, Hornickel provides insights into the psychology and spiritual/mindfulness principles and digs deep into what it really takes to prepare for and execute a successful negotiation. I highly recommend this book. Read it from cover to cover and you will have the tools needed to master successful negotiations. It is an instructive read for our professional and personal lives." —Larry Hunt, HR Director, Smith College

INTRODUCTION Section One: The People in the Process Chapter One: Valuing Mutuality, Proactivity & R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Valuing Mutuality, Proactivity & R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Mutuality Proactivity R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Mutuality, Proactivity & R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Summary Goals for Success Chapter Two: Reviewing Human Fundamentals False Self & True Self Centricities Reviewing Human Fundamentals Summary Goals for Success Chapter Three: Expanding Emotional Intelligence SELF–AWARENESS SELF–MANAGEMENT SOCIAL AWARENESS Managing Relationships Expanding Emotional Intelligence Summary Case Study Goals For Success Chapter Four: Working With Negotiating Styles Doer – Task Oriented Thinker – Task Oriented Talker – People Guardian – People Oriented Working With Negotiating Styles Summary Unfolding Case Study Goals for Success Chapter Five: Integrating Six Principles Of Ethical Influence The Principle of Reciprocity The Principle of Liking The Principle of Social Proof The Principle of Authority The Principle of Consistency Principle of Scarcity Integrating the Six Principles of Influence Summary Goals For Success Chapter Six: Dissolving Conflict Code of Conduct Conflict Escalation Conflict De–escalation Dissolving Conflict Summary Goals For Success Chapter Seven: Presenting Your Case Why People Buy Image, Productivity and/or Profitability Numb – Pain – Ready–To–Act Reception Challenges Doer as Presenter Thinker as Presenter Talker as Presenter Guardian as Presenter Setting Direction– 4 A’s Summary of Behavioral Styles 4 A’s Satisfaction Points: Using You Voice – The 5 P’s Radio Audition Script Competence & Confidence Composed Beginning Strong Stride Leader’s Stance Breathe Eye Connection Expressive Face Body Language & Gestures Presenting Your Case Summary Goals For Success Section Two: The Negotiating Process Chapter Eight: Understanding Negotiation Fundamentals Negotiation Fundamentals Assumptions Information is Power Disclosure Establishes Trust Overly Competitive = Lose/Lose Trading Value – Concessions Creative Thinking Understanding Negotiation Fundamentals Summary Goals for Success Chapter Nine: Creating Range & Alternatives Creating Range & Alternatives Wish Starting Point Who Names the Number First? Bottom Line BATNA – Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement WATNA – Worst Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement Creating Range & Alternatives Summary Goals For Success Chapter Ten: Concretizing “Why”, “What” & “How” “Why”, “What” & “How” Concretizing “Why” “What” & “How” Summary Goals For Success Chapter Eleven: Preparing For Your Session Five Negotiation Phases Uniting Your Team Preparing for Your Session Summary Goals For Success Chapter Twelve: Discovering All Sides II. Discovery Phase Skills for Use in Discovery Discovery Skill #4 – Requests Discovery Phase Summary Goals For Success Chapter Thirteen: Checking In Before Moving On III. Check In Phase Check–In Before Moving On Summary Goals For Success Chapter Fourteen: Trading For Mutual Gain IV. Trade Phase Trading for Mutual Gain Summary Goals For Success Chapter Fifteen: Evaluating For Improvement V. Evaluate Phase Evaluating for Improvement Summary Goals For Success Chapter Sixteen: Disposing of Tactics Exposing Tactics The Use of Tactics Better Offer Better Than That Bluff Breaking It Off Switch Negotiators Agenda Control Deadline Delays Catastrophizing Empty Wallet Façade False Praise Forced Choice Splitting Good Guy/Bad Guy (Also known as Good Cop/Bad/Cop) Legal Nibbling No Authority Non–Negotiable Take It or Leave It The Wince Disposing of Tactics Summary Goals For Success Chapter Seventeen: Practicing For Life Appendix Bold New Directions’ Negotiation Preparation Worksheet Resources

JIM HORNICKEL is the cofounder of Bold New Directions, a transformational learning organization that provides training, coaching, retreats, and keynotes across the world, specializing in negotiation, management, leadership, communication, and presentation through corporate training. In addition to his role at Bold New Directions, Jim has been an incubator of three businesses, a manager in several industries, and a leader in contract, staff, and labor negotiations.