Startup Life: Surviving and Thriving in a Relationship with an Entrepreneur

Praise for Startup Life "Many startup entrepreneurs know a strong network is key to success and happiness. But not all realize that the most important relationship of all is the one you have with your significant other. In his latest book, Brad Feld and his wife, Amy, draw upon their rich experience as entrepreneurs and investors—and most important, as a happily married couple—to show how to keep your romantic relationship strong while on the startup rollercoaster. Finally: a practical relationship book written by entrepreneurs, for entrepreneurs." —Reid Hoffman, cofounder and chairman, LinkedIn, and coauthor, The Start–Up of You: Adapt to the Future, Invest in Yourself, and Transform Your Career "Few people understand both the emotional and intellectual challenges of the entrepreneurial life better than Brad Feld and Amy Batchelor. Their collaboration is a gift as it lays out, with characteristic humor, intelligence, pragmatism, and—dare I say it—love, some of the most coherent and relevant survival strategies for entrepreneurs and those who have the guts to love them." —Jerry Colonna, executive coach "During my career, I′ve been involved in two rapidly growing companies—Google and Facebook. The challenge of balancing life and work that entrepreneurial couples face in the context of extremely fast growing companies is intense. Brad and Amy explore different aspects of this in detail and provide broad perspective and advice from over twenty–five years of living the startup life." —Emily White, Senior Director, Facebook Mobile Business Development and Partnerships "Brad and Amy have contributed a book like no other . . . practical, loving, and hard–won advice for focused entrepreneurs." —Seth Godin, author and entrepreneur "As an entrepreneur who has started and built a company and someone who often writes about other entrepreneurs, I′ve seen firsthand how challenging it can be to sustain the intense pace required to create a successful company and at the same time have a full and healthy life. I have struggled, and whenever I have, I have turned to Brad for guidance and wisdom. This book by Brad and Amy Batchelor brings you many of their tips, along with a deep perspective on the experience of being in a relationship with an entrepreneur." —Om Malik, founder, GigaOM, and a technology writer "Brad Feld and Amy Batchelor courageously draw back the curtain on life in entrepreneurship with rare honesty. If you′re an entrepreneur or in a relationship with an entrepreneur, you′ll be glad to know you′re not alone. This book is loaded with stories of struggles and triumphs as well tons of practical tips for dealing with the high–octane high–uncertainty life that is entrepreneurship." —Eric Ries, author of The Lean Startup: How Today′s Entrepreneurs Use Continuous Innovation to Create Radically Successful Businesses

PREFACE xi ACKNOWLEDGMENTS xv CHAPTER ONE Introduction 1 CHAPTER TWO Philosophy 7 CHAPTER THREE Communication 23 CHAPTER FOUR Startup Company Life 41 CHAPTER FIVE Personality 49 CHAPTER SIX Values 63 CHAPTER SEVEN Skills, Tactics, and Tools 73 CHAPTER EIGHT Common Issues and Conflicts 89 CHAPTER NINE Big Issues: Illness, Relationship Failure, and Divorce 109 CHAPTER TEN Money 123 CHAPTER ELEVEN Children 143 CHAPTER TWELVE Family 155 CHAPTER THIRTEEN Sex and Romance 171 CHAPTER FOURTEEN Enough 179 BIBLIOGRAPHY 185 ABOUT THE AUTHORS 189 INDEX 191 EXCERPT FROM STARTUP COMMUNITIES 195

BRAD FELD has been an early-stage investor and entrepreneur for over twenty years. Prior to cofounding Foundry Group—a Boulder, Colorado–based early-stage venture capital fund that invests in information technology companies all over the United States—he cofounded Mobius Venture Capital and, prior to that, founded Intensity Ventures, a company that helped launch and operate software companies. Feld is also a cofounder of TechStars and has been active with several nonprofit organizations. He is a nationally recognized speaker on the topics of venture capital investing and entrepreneurship. AMY BATCHELOR is a Managing Director of the Anchor Point Fund, which makes grants to nonprofit organizations in the arts, education, entrepreneurship, conservation and the environment, health and human services, women's and human rights, international development, capacity building, and progressive public policy. She is a cofounder and partner of Social Venture Partners Boulder County and currently serves on the Board of Trustees at Wellesley College. She blogs at http://anchorpoint.blogs.com/ and can be found on Twitter (@abatchelor) and Facebook (amy.batchelor). She is working on two novels, The North Side of Trees and Epicenter , about the 1964 Alaska earthquake. Batchelor graduated from Wellesley College in 1988 with a BA in political philosophy. She lives in Boulder, Colorado, and has homes in Keystone, Colorado, and Homer, Alaska, where she was born. Batchelor travels extensively and has spent time on every continent except Antarctica.

"There have been many thousands of pages dedicated to successful entrepreneurship, but rarely a word spoken about leading a successful entrepreneurial life until the release of “Startup Life.” In what I consider to be the first must–read book of the year, Amy Batchelor and Brad Feld artfully tackle the subject with an astonishing level of transparency and authenticity. No subject is off–limits, including emotional struggles, sexual intimacy, financial decision–making, and family planning." —Forbes, 1/23/2013 “One of the most appealing aspects of  Startup Life  is that Brad and Amy are not dogmatic. They offer various suggestions from their own lives, as well as vignettes provided by other startup couples, which Brad believes make the book more impactful and balanced…Although the book’s ideal audience is an entrepreneurial couple on the front–end of their relationship, even veteran entrepreneurs can learn something from  Startup Life .”  —Forbes