Resolving Personal and Organizational Conflict: Stories of Transformation and Forgiveness

"Take time to listen to what is said without words . . . To obey the law too subtle to be written." —Lao Tse At the heart of any conflict are the stories that people tell about the dispute, and the resolution to the conflict lies within these stories. Resolving Personal and Organizational Conflict shows how conflict resolution can be achieved by using the narrative structural approach, an innovative method that centers on the context of the individuals in the dispute, and not just on their interests, positions, and stated needs. This visionary book is written by Kenneth Cloke and Joan Goldsmith, two renowned mediators, who have used the narrative structure method successfully in their own mediation practice to move people in conflict from stubbornness, hostility, and fear to openness, collaboration, and forgiveness. Focusing on the transformative power of stories, Resolving Personal and Organizational Conflict includes an array of case studies from the authors′ first–hand experience with thousands of clients. These case studies include the perspectives of all the parties in the conflict and cover a wide range of conflicts and disputes. As the authors explain, once mediators become experienced at unearthing and understanding the deeper meaning of the stories people tell about conflict, they can learn to follow their intuition and create their own practical methods and techniques for assisting the disputing parties. To help in this process, Resolving Personal and Organizational Conflict offers specific methods for assisting disputing parties to communicate their problems without sinking into the twin traps of demonization or victimization. In addition, the authors show how to encourage people and organizations in conflict to identify new ways of sustaining supportive relationships and transforming anger into awareness, dialogue, and reconciliation. Revealing hidden stories in conflict and using their power to resolve disputes Resolving Personal and Organizational Conflict offers an innovative approach for dispute resolution to anyone charged with the task of finding a way to end destructive conflict. Authors Kenneth Cloke and Joan Goldsmith reveal how to use the narrative structure method–which focuses on the power of conflict stories–to move people from positions of mistrust, anger, and inflexibility to collaboration, forgiveness, and resolution. "This book is guaranteed to strike a chord with anyone seeking greater understanding of the dynamics of conflict and the paths to transformation. Cloke and Goldsmith draw on their vast experience as mediators, taking us inside the world of conflict stories. They show us how to listen at three levels and ask questions that open doors for understanding, healing, and growth. An invaluable book!" —Karl Slaikeu, president of Chorda Conflict Management; author, When Push Comes to Shove "An eloquent primer for anyone trying to live a successful and satisfying life. Using conflict as a prism, Joan Goldsmith and Kenneth Cloke provide an indispensable look at the elements necessary to transformation." —Eileen Moran Brown, president, Cambridge College "A classic! Full of timeless insights into highly sophisticated mediating. The stories are told in detail, so that moves and responses by the parties and the mediators are apparent. The mediators′ exquisite sense of timing and respect for the parties combine to produce often astonishing results. Essential reading for experts as well as novices." —Barbara Ashley Phillips, author, Finding Common Ground and The Field Guide to Mediation "Those who seek a cookbook approach to mediation will find this volume far too rich. A varied menu of stories from the authors′ twenty year practice shows how a trained ear, an open mind, a respectful and intuitive stance, and humane values can anchor and steer a broad and flexible repertoire of effective third–party practices. Tasty reading!" —Laura Chasin, director, Public Conversations Project

Preface. 1. The Hidden Meaning of Conflict Stories. 2. Working with Stories to Resolve Conflict. 3. Stories Unheard and Untold. 4. Stories that Sacrifice Life. 5. Stories that Hold Organizations Hostage. 6. Stories that Justify Boundary Violations. Conclusion: Living Happily Ever After. About the Authors. Index.

KENNETH CLOKE is a mediator, arbitrator, consultant, and trainer specializing in resolving complex multiparty conflicts. JOAN GOLDSMITH is a management consultant and educator specializing in leadership development, organizational change, conflict resolution, and team building.Cloke and Goldsmith are the authors of Resolving Conflicts at Work and the forthcoming Mediating Dangerously, both from Jossey–Bass.

"This book is guaranteed to strike a chord with anyone seeking greater understanding of the dynamics of conflict and the paths to transformation. Cloke and Goldsmith draw on their vast experience as mediators, taking us inside the world of conflict stories. They show us how to listen at three levels and ask questions that open doors for understanding, healing, and growth. An invaluable book!" (Karl Slaikeu, president of Chorda Conflict Management; author, When Push Comes to Shove) "An eloquent primer for anyone trying to live a successful and satisfying life. Using conflict as a prism, Joan Goldsmith and Kenneth Cloke provide an indispensable look at the elements necessary to transformation." (Eileen Moran Brown, president, Cambridge College) "A classic! Full of timeless insights into highly sophisticated mediating. The stories are told in detail, so that moves and responses by the parties and the mediators are apparent. The mediators′ exquisite sense of timing and respect for the parties combine to produce often astonishing results. Essential reading for experts as well as novices." (Barbara Ashley Phillips, author, Finding Common Ground and The Field Guide to Mediation) "Those who seek a cookbook approach to mediation will find this volume far too rich. A varied menu of stories from the authors′ twenty year practice shows how a trained ear, an open mind, a respectful and intuitive stance, and humane values can anchor and steer a broad and flexible repertoire of effective third–party practices. Tasty reading!" (Laura Chasin, director, Public Conversations Project)